This question is one of those unique-to-a-generation type dilemmas, and it is one that likely every parent will have to answer (and keep answering) with their kids.

The reality is that our kids don’t distinguish between online and offline worlds the way that some older people do, and so to them it is just an extension of being connected. While I’ve written a bit before in previous blogs, and shown you that I am very PRO technology, I am much more cautious when it comes to social media. These are the most common risks I see in my work:

– Social media is designed to capture and hold your attention. The money invested by Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, TikTok etc on user interface changes they can make to keep your eyes on their screen longer is staggering.

– Content and communication happens too quickly. The old saying of “sleep on it” is not true for us hyperconnected people. Something happens, and the speed with which this is communicated, enflamed and exacerbated is exceedingly quick

– Sharing inappropriate content. Especially personal and explicit images of yourself or others that may have been shared with you (I’m not talking about pornography here – I’ll leave that out of it)

Interestingly, none of these problems above are kid problems – this is a humanity problem. Adults are as impacted by this just as much as kids. We regularly see adults getting into trouble with the above issues, just as much as with kids.

When it comes to those discussions around access to social media, I think it is important to step back and see this as a bigger discussion about technology use in general, of which social media is a part of it. The things you want to consider:

– Have you established rules and expectations for technology use as a family, and are these generally being well followed?

– Has your young person demonstrated a level of responsibility that suggests they are ready to access social media

– What expectations will you put in place about how much they can access it, where they can access it, how they interact with others

– Will you have some kind of monitoring in place?

Pester power is strong, and all families have to make decisions that feel right for them. I see value in scaffolded exposure to technology and appropriate and healthy use of it. Typically it is better to have this plan in place with a view to how it rolls out over time so that you aren’t giving them a phone and access to social media for the first time in one go. Check out this great resource for more info: https://www.healthychildren.org/…/fmp/Pages/MediaPlan.aspx

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At ConnectEd Counselling and Consultancy, we believe that all families, and the communities they belong to, benefit from a little extra care and support. Whether the problems are big or small, we want to make sure everyone has the chance to feel connected – to themselves, to others and to their community. We offer counselling services to young people and families and have immediate availability. If you need some support, get in touch here: https://connectedcc.com.au/book-now/

(Written by: Dr Matt O’Connor)