It is a stereotype that psychologists love asking about your childhood. It also happens to be true!

It is a stereotype that psychologists love asking about your childhood. It also happens to be true! In most cases, your relationship with your parents is the longest relationship you have had in your life (and possibly will be the longest relationship you will ever have). It makes sense then that this relationship impacts on […]
Kids listen more than we think

Kids listen more than we think A little while ago, I was trying to give my little one an analogy to help explain how worry/anxiety/fear can be reinforced. I started by explaining how when our dog was a puppy, she learned that if she went to one of us (in particular!) for treats, she was […]
Olympians are only amazing because of the people behind them

Opinion – Olympians are only amazing because of the people behind them It is that wonderful time every 4 years when we celebrate the athleticism, adaptability and come-from-behind stories that the Olympics typically represents. During this time, we hold up and celebrate the achievement of the individual or the team they belong to. And rightly […]
Want to know the secret to being a good parent? Your relationship with them.

I am a new dad – my daughter is nearly 4 years old – and despite the knowledge that I have from working with parents and young people, I often find myself at a bit of a loss as to what is the “right” thing to do in terms of my parenting decisions. A LOT […]
One thing that all children (big or small!) benefit from – consistent and predictable parenting

We are all routine driven. While many of us might like to think we are spontaneous and wild, the reality is that we frequently are following a predictable pattern of behaviours in any given day. Much of this is due to meeting our basic biological needs (sleeping, eating, toileting), but one of the main reasons […]
The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none

For all of us – whether we are a parent or a young person – setting boundaries is a hugely important interpersonal skill. Some of us find it a bit easier, many of us do not though, and that can often be to the significant detriment to our time, wellbeing and mental energy. Being able […]
We all want to feel heard and listened to, but how good are we at really doing that? Especially with our kids?

Early on in my training to become a psychologist, we did intensive training in something called ‘micro-skills’. We were told this was fundamental to our trade and some of the most important skills we would use. It included complex concepts like: – Using minimal encouragers. Translation = saying “uh huh”, “yeah”, “ok”, “mhhmm” – Attending […]
At what age should my child stop giving me a kiss? Or a cuddle?

Let’s start with the reality – there is no right answer to this. But – and this might be controversial to say – there are some WRONG answers to this. One of the points that I would like to make very clearly at the start is that we should be teaching our young people from […]
If I dropped by your house and quizzed your family, would they be able to tell me what rules and expectations exist at home?

First of all – no, I’m not dropping by your house! But this is a thought exercise I often suggest to parents when thinking about having shared family expectations. In everyday experiences, we are constantly navigating social norms and expectations – keep your voice down in the library, let other people off the train before […]
Everyone likes positive reinforcement, but is doing this creating a generation of spoiled kids?

My short answer to that is – no, I don’t think so, but with a caveat. And that caveat is, when we do this flexibly. Positive reinforcement is a fantastic way of shaping behaviour and has the added benefit of building relationships. And yes of course, managing misbehaviour is also an important part of parenting […]